Family of Origin

Small arguments? – Not in your family!

As you walk into the kitchen, you see her. Your mother was standing at the stove with her back to you as you entered the door. She didn’t say a word.

But you knew. You could feel it in the air. Your mother had been crying again.

Your parents had gotten into another argument – a big one! Of course, you knew this because they were always bigger than any argument has business getting.

Your family didn’t have minor arguments in your home. They were larger than life. Explosive – sometimes even destructive.

Ignoring the obvious is your family’s way of coping.

You know that your mother had undergone an onslaught of shameful, accusing banter that cut her to her core. You knew what this was like because there were many times you also received the brunt of it.

Your mother was broken and tearful but still trying to make dinner. And now that you were home, she quickly put on her “pretending everything is fine” face – as though nothing had just happened.

She would continue putting together a dinner to serve everyone else because that’s what she did. That’s what you all did. Ignore the elephant in the room and put on an act of “normal.” When everything was anything but…

Despite the crazy explosion that took place, you all learned to wipe the tears, pretend it’s all better, and keep going. And when you think about this, it makes you angry.

Looking back after 20 years…

While you loved your family growing up, you grew to despise the constant chaos and dysfunction – and even being associated with it.

There were secrets, and along with the secrets, shame followed quickly on their heels. As long as the secret didn’t escape, it would all be okay.

Yet you always knew things weren’t quite normal – or even healthy.

But you learned to play your role, any role that was necessary to keep the family afloat.

You kept the family afloat by changing the subject.

Does the family need a quick pick me up and something positive upon which to focus? You were there with those straight A’s and sports trophies.

Did someone in the home get knocked down with cutting words and need defending? You were there to step in front and fight with your intellect and words on their behalf or perhaps take the next blow yourself.

Was it getting too heavy emotionally, and a distraction was in order? You would come in and create a smokescreen by making everyone laugh at some ridiculous joke.

You did whatever was needed to keep everything afloat. It’s what you all did in your own ways. It’s how you survived the chaos.

Your past keeps invading your present.

You are now an adult, and it is as though your past has come back to haunt you. You feel like you are back fighting the same battles, absorbing the same guilt and shame, and fighting off the same soul-piercing words that cut to the core. Except, it’s no longer happening in real-time but in your mind.

You fight with invisible demons and breathing old pains.

It’s painful and confusing because you thought you worked to step out of the chaos.

You still see it. Why can’t you escape it? It was so many years ago…

Gain clarity about your Family of Origin.

Exploring your Family of Origin and the stressful environment you endured is painful and overwhelming, especially when you attempt to explore alone.

While working with one of our skilled clinicians, you will have a powerful opportunity to understand how present-day issues relate to memories of your family. We will provide a safe, compassionate environment to unpack those old memories in a way that provides both clarity and revelation about the impact they have had on your worldview.

Then, we will reshape your perspective to unlock newfound freedom from old thoughts and behavior patterns tied to the past. Finally, we will come to a place of peace and acceptance and respect the pain while also releasing it as you grow in healthier ways of living.

It would be a true honor for us to do this important work with you to find freedom and healing from old wounds. Finally!